I am not very good at just sitting down to write my waffle … it sort of comes to me when the moment is right. But this time I find myself a whizzle confused with the words in my head. Angry, sad, disappointed, hopeful, tired, so very lucky. Given I try not to judge others, these can only belong to my own feelings.
This Easter weekend the Pope himself said how ashamed he was at the state of the world. Yes, I have to agree. I find myself thinking, I just don’t get it anymore. But I don’t have the energy to fight on a larger scale anymore … my world is my man and our puddings. This world is too big for us alone now. So many, so, so many older, sick and needy dogs. When I say no, I am sorry to a caller … where do I go now they ask … where indeed?
But the refuges are doing amazing jobs, but already so many are over full. So many more individuals in homes are taking older or needier dogs, but it seems never enough.
I am sad and disappointed in myself. We just can’t take anymore just now. Mike is now waiting on two major surgeries, back and foot, and love him, he never wants us to stop, but he just can’t move just now! I am tired. Tired of saying no. Sometimes I fear answering the phone, because I know that is all I can say. I also fear I am tired and cannot fight the rejection of those who do not want to help because they do not believe in helping the old and sick. Yes, there are a good few who continue to criticise. Heaven help them when they need their beaker passing to them in an old folks home! But you know, even on the world stage, even in our little world we never lose the hope or happiness. You look into these old souls’ eyes. They love with such heartfelt openness. They are far more advanced in their senses and their sense as to what is actually important. The here, the now, however scared, or pained they hold no grudge or ill. Whatever tomorrow brings will be then. Just the now.
It really is the greatest blessing to sit with the current 27 puddings in a quiet moment as we all rest. Likely nine of them all on the settee with the two of us, and always at least 20 in our 25 m sq living room. Now, more than ever before we are in your hands as to how long we can continue. I saw an ad for an overseas refuge recently. It read “your money or you time!” How so very true I thought. Just a €1 or just an hour hands on – you can make a difference to help us. Either volunteer or paid work will keep us going. Cleaning, DIY, pudding sitting. And I know that our need is replicated across every refuge. The one sure things for us all is death. Let us be sure to fill our everyday with positive, good and always hope of what can be achieved in the time we have. I have rambled, but I close with the biggest heartfelt thanks to you, you who care, as it is you who make the difference in this world.